Tuesday, August 17, 2010

home...

i've been home for over a week now and things are coming together. i've been overwhelmed in a positive way just how God has provided. i am enrolled back at bethel college. i went there for a year and a half after high school, but stopped going when i had switched degree multiple times and didn't have a concrete plan. i am in the non-traditional program, which is an accelerated program (and a lot cheaper than going back in the undergraduate program). the classes are 7 weeks long, each one night a week for 4 hours. the bachelor's degree i will get will be in human services, which will allow me to grow more in knowledge of psychology, case managing, group facilitating, sociology, etc... i think this is the best fit for me. i'm also looking into having a minor in biblical studies.

i will also be going back to work at the children's home i worked at before i left, which i am excited and thrilled about. this will continue to give me training and experiences.

thanks again to all of you who have been praying and thinking of me during this summer. it has been an incredible summer, even though it has been full of surprises and changes i had not anticipated. i hope that as your summer comes to an end, it has been relaxing and fun!

God bless!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

change of plans...

Greetings from Montana!

I wanted to send out an update and let all of you know what changes have come from my short, but fruitful seven weeks in Montana.

I arrived June 12th and was greeted with warmth, both from the students and staff on the base, and also the weather. I hadn’t been back to the base in over five years and even though some of the buildings had changed, the inviting atmosphere had not. The first two weeks I worked in the kitchen, helping prepare lunch and dinner. Although I would not say that I am a cook, it was a great way to meet people as they passed through the line to receive their food.

The DTS Equip training that I am involved in started on June 28th, and it was nothing like I had anticipated. This training has changed my life. We just finished week five of a six week training, and as it finishes up, I am at a completely different place than when it started.

The training is designed to equip staff to better understand the curriculum of a Discipleship Training School (DTS) and become a better disciple ourselves in order to train other disciples. Although the training is mainly for Youth With a Mission (YWAM), it has become much more to me. Early on during the training my focus had switched from YWAM to back home. Everything that I was learning, I was thinking about how to incorporate it in my life back home, especially in a setting with troubled youth, like the job I had at the residential children’s home before I left for Montana. I found this to be very strange because most of the implications were to use it here at YWAM. As I sought God through this, a question arose in my head as to if I would be willing to go home and implement what I was learning.

At first I laughed at the idea because of my 2-year commitment here. As time went by, I felt more and more that I should talk to the DTS director and share with her what was going on in my heart. Commitments are a big deal, especially when I have asked people from back home and other areas to support me and when I have committed to an organization that has taken the time to look over my staff application, pray over it, look at my references, and then accept me here in Montana. I believed that this training is essential for my life, especially since I have the desire to work with youth and young people.

Over the next two weeks I prayed and talked with others about this. The biggest question that was on my heart, was whether or not God would bring me here for 8 weeks, just to send me back home, even if it was to implement the things I’d learn. As time went on, and even today, I can say very confidently that I do think God would bring me here for this. God knows what I need in my life, and He knew that this training would help me grow personally, and help me later on in life with the things He would have me do.

You may be asking, so what does all this mean? It means that after my training is complete on August 6th, I will be driving back to Goshen. I have a few ideas of what I could be doing when I get home, but I believe that during the drive home and also in the first week or so, my time at home will be dedicated to more prayer and understanding as to what God would have me do. With the economy the way it is, some people have shown concern that maybe I won’t find a job, but I must continue to have faith that God will provide. If I believe He has called me to something other than YWAM, than I must also believe that He will continue to provide and guide my steps as I walk towards Him. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” This is my prayer. I am a person who likes details and to know what is going on, but as the Bible says in Proverbs, we are not to lean on our own understanding, so I will continue to pursue God, having faith that when it is time, God will make my path straight.

I would like to share some things that confirmed what God was speaking to me during these last weeks. First of all, when I talked to Kristy, the DTS director, we were sharing together what we felt like the Lord had said to us after praying for a week on whether God was calling me home or not. Kristy started saying that she is a very persuasive person. I wasn’t sure what she was getting at right away, but then she said, “I could try and persuade you to stay and it might work, but right away God told me not to persuade you, but to trust that you heard God.” She went on to say that they would release me and not worry about the 2-year commitment. That was huge. It was not only huge because of the weight that was lifted off my shoulders from the commitment, but also because God had told her to trust my decision.

Another thing that happened during week 3 of the training that confirmed my time here was that we had a speaker named Jim Isom come in from Budapest, Hungry and speak solely on working with young people with difficult backgrounds. Jim has had a lot of experience working with people from addictive backgrounds and abusive backgrounds. I was able to meet with him a few times and talk to him about his heart and what kinds of things work in working with troubled youth. This week was one of the most exciting weeks for me because I was able to acknowledge one of my passions and really seek to understand more how to incorporate it by talking to someone, who has done what I feel called to do, for over 35 years. Some of you might have heard of the organization called Teen Challenge (a place for people with addictions to go and get help), and Jim got to work with the founder of Teen Challenge, David Wilkerson, and helped get that organization running, so he has lots of knowledge and experience.

The last story I will mention happened just this past Thursday. The founder of YWAM is Loren Cunningham, and our class had the honor of talking with Loren over Skype (a video, voice calls, and messaging program). Loren started YWAM back in 1960, so you can imagine how many stories he has about how God has moved and worked in his life and the lives of others. Instead of just starting off the lecture with stories, facts, etc…, Loren asked each of us, one at a time, to come up to the computer’s web camera and introduce ourselves and what we were doing after the Equip training. When I got up to the computer, I was a little nervous, not because Loren had created that type of atmosphere, but because Loren is the founder of YWAM. As I said who I was, and that I was heading back to Indiana to hopefully work with troubled youth, Loren stopped me and asked where in Indiana. I said, “the northern part.” I figured he wouldn’t know of Goshen, but then he asked what city, so I told him, and sure enough he had heard of Goshen. During Loren’s lecture, he talked about being a missionary. Some of us think of missionaries as being in a different country than their own, but Loren specifically mentioned me going back to Goshen in his lecture, and told me that it will be difficult to serve, but that God does call people to their hometown, and even they are missionaries.

As Christians we have a calling on our lives, but how we do it looks different for each person. I am so grateful for these last seven weeks and all that I have learned. God asked me to come to Montana, and all of you have been a part of praying and supporting me financially. It has been a humbling experience to have to write this letter, but also a very powerful experience in the sense that I get to share and talk about how God has trained me and chosen me to go back home as I continue to trust that He will provide.

I used this quote in my support letter I sent out months ago, and it is still true today. “I am carried on the shoulders of those who cannot see the landscape I describe. I owe them far more than my weight.” All of you have played an important part in my life, and I am so thankful that even through my journey that looks far from perfect, God chooses to bless me with amazing friends and family.

I cannot say thank you enough! I trust that God continues to bless you all like you have blessed me. I will be in touch when I get clarity and direction for my steps.

-Jayme